How to tackle pirates.... Indian style or via the Cruise Special dream?

I  booked the Pirate Cruise Special.  That will work for me like a dream.

The Indian Way:     h/t: MF
Kudos to India. Well done. While the nations afflicted with the deadly disease of political correctness are losing billions of dollars per year to Somali pirates, India.... the supposedly third world country, shows the world how this plague can be eradicated with the utmost ease and minimum effort.

After clearing new aggressive rules of engagement for naval warships to go on an "all out offensive'' against pirates, the government is now also moving towards allowing armed guards on Indian merchant vessels to keep the sea brigands at bay .

The armed guards, akin to sky marshals deployed on civil airliners to prevent hijacking, are likely to be drawn from retired personnel of Navy and Coast Guard, who are well-versed in maritime as well as security matters, said sources.

Another proposal being pushed by Navy is to make it mandatory for all merchant vessels to have "safe houses or rooms'' by fortifying the bridge or engine rooms. With blast-resistant armour-plated doors, with electronic locks to restrict access, they will have satellite communication devices inside to issue distress calls.  If the crew of a hijacked Indian vessel has barricaded itself in the "safe house'', then naval commandos will get the opportunity to storm the ship without the risk of any collateral damage, said sources....                                       

The Pirate Cruise Special:                h/t: Barry

Passengers will board our luxury cruise ships in Djibouti on the Gulf of Aden near the entrance to the Red Sea, and disembark in Mombasa Kenya , seven adrenaline-charged days later.  Reservations start at only $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room) and $6,900 (verandah complete with bench rest).
 
 
 
 
You will relax like never before.

That's because you are welcome to bring your own arsenal with you. If you don't have your own weapons, you can rent them from our onboard Master Gunsmith. Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon, with skeet and marksmanship competitions every night!

But the best fun of all, of course, is... pirate target practice. The object of our cruise is to sail up and down the Somali Coast waiting to get hijacked by pirates!

Testimonials: 

"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two, and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun. This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family"-- Fred D., Cincinnati , OH

"Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! Can't recommend it highly enough!" -- Ben L., Bethesda , MD

Additional Cruise Line Services:

•Need a spotter? Our professional crew members can double as spotters for only $30/hour (spotting scope included, but gratuities are not).

•Also included: Free complimentary night vision equipment --and throughout the night, coffee, pastries and snacks are always available on the main deck from 7pm until 6am.
•Our deluxe package comes complete with gourmet meals and all rooms offer a mini-bar.

Our Guarantee:  We guarantee you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or you'll receive an instant $1,000 refund upon arrival in Mombasa.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE !!!!

Special Bonus: Reserve Now -and be automatically entered to win a 5 minute time slot on the Captain's own Twin Browning 50 Caliber M2HB installation!  See what our satisfied previous passengers say:

"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in ' Nam . Don't worry about getting shot by pirates...they never even got close to the ship with the crap they shoot and their lousy aim... Come on board and bag your own clutch of genuine Somali pirates!"   -- Mike W., Savannah , GA

"Holy crap! I mean literally, I crapped myself! This gun shook the deck like thunder, and I was laughing so hard I just had to release it.  AWESOME!-- Jim W., Tampa , FL

Cabin space is limited so you need to respond quickly. Reserve your package before Aug 31st and get a great bonus--   100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice! So sign up for the Ultimate Somali Coast Adventure Cruise now!