You may be a muslim if ........

1. If You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
You may be a Muslim

2. If You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
You may be a Muslim.

3. If You have more wives than teeth.
You may be a Muslim.

4. If You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.
You may be a Muslim.

5. If You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
You may be a Muslim.

6. If You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
You may be a Muslim.

7. If You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
You may be a Muslim.

8. If You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
You may be a Muslim.

9. If You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
You may be a Muslim.

10. If Your cousin is president of the United States.
You may be a Muslim.

w/thanks to poster at a political forum