2012 Predictions for the EU

Iain Murray, writing at the Spectator has some fun with predictions for the EU ....  we can laugh now but these "predictions" are the logical conclusions as seen by thinking folks.

January: General happiness and optimism reign over the continent, with the Big Bazooka of the new EU fiscal compact supposedly having solved all Europe's problems forever. EU officials organize a "Two Minute Hate" directed at British Prime Minister David Cameron, to be introduced in all EU schools just after morning assembly. Cameron tells the British people he will remain firm and resolute. Five EU banks collapse, but this is dismissed as a sign that the fiscal compact is working. President Barack Obama urges the EU nations to work out their differences and stick to the euro.

February: The EU parliament votes that euroskeptic British members can only speak if they wear a silly hat and begin their speech "I am a poor deluded fool and I think…" Daniel Hannan, Nigel Farage and others proudly adopt the silly hat as their symbol and begin every speech with a quote from EU President van Rompuy. Ten more banks collapse. Portugal, Ireland, and Spain are in imminent danger of turning into Greece. This is dismissed as a sign that the fiscal compact is working. President Barack Obama urges the EU nations to work out their differences and stick to the euro.

March: The EU leaders suddenly realize that their big bazooka was firing blanks. "We need a Gross Panzerfaust!" declares Chancellor Merkel of Germany, making this the title of a new draft EU Treaty. President Sarkozy is too busy checking his latest poll figures on his blackberry to notice and signs off on the plan without reading it. Faced with exaggerated tut-tutting and snide comments in languages he doesn't understand, David Cameron decides that if Britain is to remain in the EU he had better sign the treaty. On hearing the news, London mayor Boris Johnson announces cryptically to the press, "Oh no, that won't do. That won't do at all. No no no no no no…" and wanders off. Cameron's poll numbers plummet. President Barack Obama urges the EU nations to work out their differences and stick to the euro.......