On Defamation suits, snakes and maggots

Over at Raphael Alexander's blog a number of  creepy crawlies are slithering around gloating over the libel suit that a lefty blogger has filed against Raphael. I put in my two bits in the comments section, and the usual suspects came growling back dripping their ghoulish yuk all over and brandishing about with words like "vilifying" and "libel".

These morons are trying to scare a she-devil who has crushed much bigger maggots under her stiletto heels and not wasted a nanosecond of a thought on the deed.

However, their pitiful threats gave me inspiration to check up on prison systems in our neck of the woods. Tell you what, if someone ever decides to file a suit against me, I will be happy to opt for a prison term and would not spend even a single red cent on lawyers. Being in prison will mean that I will get meals like these, which being too weight conscious I keep away from but would be only too happy to consume :

Sample prison menu:Breakfast: scrambled eggs, grits, corn muffins, bran cereal, pineapple beverage, margarine, coffee, milk Dinner: chicken and biscuits, turnip greens, tossed salad, vinegar and oil dressing, mashed potatoes, spice cake, iced tea

And lots of other exotic stuff cooked by potential future TV chefs like Emiril and Paula Dean, both having started their careers cooking for prisoners according to posters at this forum

Moreover, according to this

"If you are in prison then the diet you get is extremely good in terms of nutritional content," he went on. "The food that is provided is actually better than most civilians have."There's a focus on carbohydrates, then there's the way they prepare the food, it's very healthy

I do not have a single soul who depends on me, so spending some time in prison would not mean that I have left someone high and dry without monetary means to look after themselves. If sent to prison, I would be able to continue pampering my first love, Reading, as according to this the prisons are stock full of books and prisoners have access to the best library materials.

A library orientation class is given to all new inmates to force them to come in and hear about library programs. However, many times what gets them in the door is the recreational material.

And then I found this list of prisons and as I am a resident of Toronto, chances are I will be assigned to the Kingston facility.

I believe Kingston has a great exercise program and being an inmate there I will be forced to exercise and probably attain that wish for a flat tummy at long last.

If someone dares to make a sexual move, I will be able to sue the Province of Ontario for Millions of dollars for not keeping me safe in prison and might even be able to publish a bestseller on my prison experiences and make additionally more moolah.

Yes, life can be good. Now, if only someone could be enticed into suing me.