On seals and rodents

Animal rights activists and the Brigettey Bardoty fems from the EU can scream all they like, but when it comes to taking a stand on seal hunting, Canadian politicians have shown the world that our political parties can think as one. Now, if only the flamboyant Sarkozy could take a bite of a nice piece of seal meat rolled in bacon, that might shut up those EU bleeding hearts and do wonders for our export of this delicacy all over the EU.

There is a beach on the island of Barra, in the Outer Hebrides, where a colony of seals lives. Last summer, I sat on a rock watching them watching me with big brown eyes. They are beautiful creatures, all sleek body and salty intelligence, and I would balk at bashing one over the head. But I’d eat a seal sausage roll.

Seal tastes like moose, apparently. As a non-Canadian moose virgin, I can’t tell you if that means it really tastes like chicken. The Canadian politicians who sat down this week for a symbolic seal lunch had it wrapped in bacon with a port reduction.

It is Canada’s annual seal cull again, and the animal rights protesters are preparing their traditional response. Yet they are strangely silent about the rat genocide in South Georgia, where millions of non-indigenous rodents will be killed over the next five years. If you prick a rat, does it not bleed? The EU has banned the import of seal produce, much to the fury of some Canadians. Why ban seal skins and not fur? How can the home of foie gras and veal crates complain about smoked seal loin?
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